That other breakfast cereal

Not that I don’t have a thousand other things to worry about, but I’ve been obsessing about one thing lately… why does it seem like all the Alpha Bits in my bowl are A’s, B’s, D, O’s, Q’s, and Y’s?  Where did the rest of the alphabet go?

Okay, I may be oversimplifying things… there are certainly a few P’s, something that could be an H or an I, and I think I saw an X in my bowl this morning. There are a bunch of broken pieces, and I can recognize that some of them were once E’s or F’s. It’s possible that some of the straight “sticks” are parts of L’s or N’s or Z’s, but come on…. when’s the last time you saw an M (that was clearly not a “W”) in your Alpha Bits? For that matter, when’s the last time you had Alpha Bits?  (I had them every day this week, but admittedly it was the first time in nearly a year that I’d bought them).

The front of my box shows A, B, C, M , O , P, X, and Z pieces, “enlarged to show texture.” These pieces look nothing like the gnarled, mutant cereal pieces in my bowl.  Let’s look at the back of the box…

On the back of the box, General Mills proposes you play “Pick-N-Pair” or “Match Game” with your cereal.  They have “PLAY” and “FOOD” spelled with Alpha Bits, and beneath is bowl of apparently hand-picked bits… again “enlarged for texture.” I can clearly see most, if not all, of the alphabet represented in that bowl.  Why doesn’t my bowl look like that?

Let’s be honest, if your Alpha Bits don’t look like the alphabet, they’re basically Cheerios.

But I’m still a fan. I just wish I could spell any of the words on the box, my name, or maybe write a sentence other than “ODD BOY ADD A DAD.” (The odd boy being the subject of the sentence, and “add” being the verb.)

More to come…

Contributed by: Scott Copperman (Guest Author)

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